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This I wish

Living wills prepare a family for end of a life

Maria Rebozo is often in the unusual position of being invited to speak to an audience that would prefer to not hear what she has to say.

As the Hispanic community liaison for Hospice of the Valley, part of Rebozo’s job is to talk to groups about advanced directives, or living wills. It is a taboo topic with many, but particularly in the Latino community.

“At first, when I start talking I can see their little hairs standing up. But once I start talking about the presentation and how they can be prepared they’re better,” Rebozo says. 
 
“Like most things having to do with healthcare, it’s not common in the Hispanic community. It’s something they do not want to talk about. They feel like if they talk about it, it’s like they’re inviting death in.”

Rebozo convinces people having an open dialogue about a difficult topic before family members are forced to make decisions during a health crisis is the best way to ensure their wishes are carried out. 

Often, a family member will have that conversation with certain family members and avoid the topic with others. Rebozo says older adults claim their children don’t want to hear about them dying, while younger adults say their parents don’t want to talk about it because they may think something is wrong.

“There can be family feuds over it. These are solutions no one wants to talk about, but it’s something everyone at least 18 years old should be having,” Rebozo says.

Advance directives consist of granting someone medical power of attorney, and a living will. The person with medical power of attorney will be the one charged with making sure the wishes are carried out. The living will contains specifics about how or when its author should or should not be taken off life support and under what circumstances.

Rebozo’s sister, Sylvia Rebozo, had her advanced directives completed five years ago after the death of their father, who was put on life support after suffering a heart attack the day before Christmas.

The decision was left to her, Rebozo and their mother. A week later they decided to take him off life support.

“It was the most painful thing we had to go through. At that point, I said I’m not going to put my family in that position. Having to make that decision was just devastating,” Sylvia says. “I think that now, my daughter is not going to have to go through that and if that situation happens to me they know what to do.”

Sylvia says she invited the family over for dinner and told them she completed her advanced directives and told them about the details of her living will. 
 
Now they know she is an organ donor who wants her body cremated after her organs are harvested. She also does not want to be on life support for more than three days if chances she’ll return to the same quality of life are slim.

“If you do this but don’t tell anyone, it comes as a shock to your family. It’s like taking care of them, too,” Sylvia says.

Forms and information can be obtained through Hospice of the Valley; visit www.hov.org, or call Maria Rebozo at (602) 636-6318.